“No excuses, only decisions”
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I’m an attorney and started my career in private practice, working long hours with the goal of making partner. When I finally made partner and checked that box, the hours got longer, the workload more demanding, and the added stress of being a business generator. At this point, I was married with two young daughters. I was traveling all the time - 48 weeks a year - for depositions, trial prep, and client meetings. When my older daughter was 6 years old she made a Mother’s Day card for me at school that asked her to include several words to describe me. I opened the card excited to see what she wrote about me. The card read “Mom is” [fill in the blank] She listed many of things you’d expect - good cook, nice, fun, etc, but the word that jumped out at me was “busy.” She also included a drawing of our family for me to take with me on business trips and taped it to the card. My heart sank. They say out of the mouth of babes - well here is was, a hard truth from my 6 year old. I knew I was over extended trying to do it all, but I didn’t realize that my daughters noticed and were affected by my intense job. At that moment I decided it was time to leave private practice and find a job that would allow me to spend more time with my family. When I told one of my partners who was a mentor to me that I had decided it was time to leave the law firm life, he said you’re not going to leave, where would you go? You’ll take a pay cut. You’ll be giving up your career. So many reasons - excuses - to stay in a job that was not personally fulfilling and taking me away from my family. This just made me double down on my decision to leave. I began searching for a job in earnest with intensity and a new purpose. Three months later I began a new job as in-house counsel at a company. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The woman that hired me told me in the interview, I can’t pay you what the law firms pay, but I can promise you that you will never miss a dinner with your kids. That moment changed my life. I got the job and got my life back, or rather a new chapter of my life that has been the best yet. I have spent so much more time with my family. We have travelled extensively. I have been present. I have been happy. With all the extra time I had now that I was finally working a “normal” job, I began practicing yoga and then made the decision to become a yoga instructor when I turned 40. My friends thought I was crazy — they asked why, you’re a lawyer? Aren’t you too old? How will you have time to do teacher training? Will you actually teach a class…in front of yoga students? Once again, I ignored all the excuses, all the reasons that I couldn’t or shouldn’t be a yoga instructor, and leaned into my decision to go for it. And I did it. I’ve been teaching yoga twice a week for 7 years and I love it. I have made many new friends and have an outlet that fills my cup, physically and mentally. These decisions had a profound impact on my life and I’m thankful everyday that I decided to try, to go for it, to take chance and make a change. So I have embraced the mantra of no excuses, only decisions. There are always a million reasons why we think we can’t or shouldn’t do something we want to pursue, but I remind myself to let the decision to try be louder than all the excuses.