Valeria Monroig

I told Jean everything. I told him my first kiss. I told him everything before my mom because my mom is harder to talk to. Jean, he would tell me straight up. That's one of the challenges I've been facing, that he's not here because when you go from seeing somebody every day, sharing the same bathroom, waking up every morning, eating with him, it's weird now because now you go to the house and it's quiet. I'm never home. If you talk to my mom, I'm never home. We both have the best sense of humor. That's why everyone invited us everywhere because you could be mad at us and we'll get a smile. We could make a joke out of anything. My brother is the type of person to put you first before himself, and it took me a little bit to learn because I was very selfish. I'm not even going to lie to you. I'd say, "You need $2 and I have $4? I'm not giving you $2.", but my brother always said, "It's good to give." We're not very religious but we do believe in God. He always told me, "You're going to get it back." * That weekend before my brother died, we were in a fight because I told my mom I hated her. They were talking and I was trying to say I love you to my mom but she was ignoring me so I'm like, "You know what? Whatever." I texted Jean and I'm like, "Yo, if you don't want me to be your sister you let me know." He was like, "Stop acting stupid. You know I love you." I said, "Well, I love you too." He's said, "You know that I love you more than myself." Everyone always told me he said, "You were the light of his eyes." We were inseparable. I went to my mom and I said, "Look, I love you. I'm sorry." And then I told her, "And I got my license." My mom called him and he was on speaker. I said, "Yo, I failed." He said, "Are you serious? You failed?" My mom said, “tell him the truth." "I got my license." He said, “Finally I don't have to drive you around anymore." I feel like he was proud that I apologized to my mom. It was probably the first time I said sorry to my mom because my pride was like, "I'm not saying sorry to her. I don't care." I'm still saying sorry right now. I would never say those words to her now because I'm all she has and she's all I have. ********************************** Valeria Monroig is the sister Jean Carlos Nieves Rodriguez who died the night of the Pulse nightclub shooting Instructions/Permissions *Interviews are edited and condensed *Tag @dearworld on any social/digital use. We are @dearworld on Instagram/Twitter and we are at *Facebook.com/dearworld *Credit Dear World/Daymon Gardner for portrait