Marissa Delgado

Stanley was one of the first people that I met came out here. He was about 16, we used to work at McDonald's together. I used to take all the little teenagers with me everywhere, making sure that they got to work. That's how I became really best friends with Stanley because I moved him in with me to make sure that he stayed and a good path. And he did. * As the time passes and you realize that, "Damn, this did happen. It happened to you, he's no longer here." When you see several people get murdered, when you're held hostage, when you get hit with bombs and shit falling all over you then you're in a hospital, it's a whole lot that people will never understand and I don't expect them to but I become more angry when people ask questions like, "How does it feel a year later or how is your recovery?" What recovery? You think I'm supposed to recover because it's been a year? No booboo it just doesn't happen like that. One of the common questions that I really do hate, Oh, how is your healing process? What? It takes longer than that. * If Stanley ate a chicken nugget, he had to go get his weights and put them on. He’d put them on his feet and arms. He was already only about 120 pounds and he was trying to lose more . He was so into his body. He’d say, "Yo, girl I got to stay skinny because that guy looked at my butt and he said it was nice. This chicken nugget we got to go work it out." I remember we went walking and then jogging, and I said, "No, booboo I'm fat, you jog I'm going to fast walk." He's like, "No, come on you got to put more motivation into it." I've always been that insecure person due to my weight. "You got to get out your egg shell,” he used to say. “There's fatter females out there, they flaunt what they have and they're very proud and they don't care." He always wanted me to be happy with me. “I'm telling you you're going to be happy,” he said. One time when we were going out, he made me switch outfits, I wanted to wear jeans and he put me in a cheetah dress. You can't always be a closed off person because like he said you're never going to live life, you're never going to know what life has to offer you if you're always antisocial and isolated into yourself. That was Stanley. In life, everyone needs a Stanley. ******************************** Marissa Delgado is a survivor of the Pulse nightclub shooting. Her friend, Stanley Almodóvar died that night. Instructions/Permissions *Interviews are edited and condensed *Tag @dearworld on any social/digital use. We are @dearworld on Instagram/Twitter and we are at *Facebook.com/dearworld *Credit Dear World/Daymon Gardner for portrait