Dana Rains

I had lost each of my parents between April of 2014 and February of 2017 (mom, dad and then my mom's husband our beloved bonus dad). The world kept turning, and I couldn't find my way back to finding joy. Something great would happen and I would be wrecked with sadness because I couldn't share it with them - day in and day out with an ever-present cloud hanging over me. I moved from one big project to the next, keeping busy in an effort to avoid the heartache. It wasn't sustainable. I had to find my way through the thick clouds of grief. I spent the week of my 40th birthday at a beach resort in Mexico - spending every possible moment in the warmth of the sun. In August, there had been no shortage of warmth or sun at home in months, but this felt different. The sadness shifting to gratitude for the people who created me and raised me to be who I had become. Someone who wasn't waiting for life to look like it was supposed to look according to convention to go live it. As I headed home, I knew I couldn't keep running away to the beach, but I could "find the sunshine" in the day to day. Good little bits. Even on the worst days. There was always something good to shift my focus to. Sometimes it was just one little ray barely breaking through the clouds at first. Slowly but surely, I was finding more and more sunshine to light the way. In the years since, this brain tattoo has served me well - through the covid days as a hospitality sales manager turned stay at home dog mom helping to lead a regional chapter of an industry organization without showing up with fear of the unknown for all of us front and center, unpredictable political climates, a move from a location I loved to be closer to the people I loved most, medical scares and a life altering diagnosis, every day, I'm finding the sunshine through gratitude for all of the people, places and things that have and continue to shape me daily.